Saturday

From early in the morning, there was great excitement in the SU grounds as a couple of marquees had been constructed on the bare earth terrace below our little garden.  The place was a hive of activity with people binding the guy ropes with brightly coloured fabrics and a florist busily creating floral arrangements – a wedding was afoot! Sadly, Andy, Alan and Eleanor had teaching responsibilities to fulfil at the pastors' conference (more later), so they had to leave Heather and Isobel to enjoy the wedding celebrations (as well as catch up with some team admin / note write ups).

Jacqueline, the manager of the hostel, dressed in a striking, voluminous traditional African red and black dress and was keen to tell us about the proceedings, so Heather and Isobel couldn’t resist the opportunity to stay home and watch a Rwandan wedding, whilst the rest of the team headed off to lead the second day of the conference.

Jacqueline had told us the wedding would start at 10am but true to form, by this time of the morning there were still swathes of coloured fabric being used to decorate the marquees, where crates of Fanta were being placed to warm in the sun, well before any of the guests arrived. As the preparations continued an incongruous blast of Country and Western style music interspersed with screeching Indian medleys issued from the amplifiers below.

Eventually the guests started to arrive to fill the two open marquees, which faced each other across the sandy yard. The guests were brightly dressed in a plethora of vibrant coloured robes, some traditional African prints and others more reminiscent of Indian sarees.  Two of the ladies, dressed in bright yellow and red matching outfits stood like bookends at the foot of the flight of steps down to the wedding location, ready to greet the guests as they arrived and to hand out gifts.  Jacqueline was very keen to explain all the proceedings and, shouted across to us when the groom’s party arrived at 11.30am.  The men were dressed in a modern equivalent of their traditional tribal costumes, so wore drapes of zebra printed fabric over their western white shirts, and carried carved walking sticks, those of the groom and best man being covered in goat skin, to signify the chiefs.  The groom’s and bride’s families sat in opposing marquees and then a very long discussion of the terms of the dowry ensued.  The head of each family held a microphone and negotiations over the giving of cows proceeded for an hour and a half.

Meanwhile one of the bedrooms adjacent to ours was buzzing with the activity of the burgeoning bridal party.  Heather reckoned that up to 100 people had been pouring in and out of the small room during the course of the morning and that about 50 people had squeezed in there at any one time!  This bedroom must have had Tardis like qualities as it was the same size as ours, which are not spacious enough for much more than our cases to be opened on the floor.

After over 2 hours of wrangling, it seemed that a bovine agreement was forged and finally the wedding commenced with a colourful parade of the bridal party issuing from the tiny bedroom.  The bride, draped in robes of salmon pink lace processed down the steps escorted by her brother.  Leading the procession were a group of ladies in pale lemon robes, and behind the bride, in yellow and white were a collection of ladies carrying beautifully decorated presents, smothered in ribbon and ruffled paper. 

The bride and groom seemed to be married comparatively quickly and the ring was place on the bride’s finger with their hands high in the air for all to see,  This was then followed by the ceremonial sharing of drinks.  Next the happy couple spent a long time distributing gifts to various members of both families, one we assumed, the bride’ father was presented with a cow boy hat on the end of a walking stick!  He dutifully then donned the hat for the rest of the ceremony!

The bride and groom were finally seated in a smaller ‘top table’ marquee to oversee the on going celebrations.  We were shocked when a man shouting and screeching burst onto the floor, dressed in what looked like a silver lurex halter-neck dress, reminiscent of a marathon runner’s space blanket, over a black shirt.  He was madly wielding a staff above his head and dancing around like a witch doctor!  The bride came out of her bridal canopy to join him, and he seemed to be serenading her!  Fortunately, Jaqueline came to our rescue to explain what on earth was going on.  Apparently it was all about naming the cow and providing some particular herbs to keep the cow clean!  After this peculiar performance another similarly dressed fellow continued the ritual - all highly entertaining!

Eventually a chef dressed in traditional whites appeared and led a team organising the arrangement of many dishes on a buffet. As the bridal party moved to collect their food an African choir, in vibrant bright colours, some with babies strapped to their backs, burst into swaying song to entertain the guests.  Their wonderful singing continued for ages whilst all the marquees emptied and then refilled, with guests carrying plates brimming with food.  The bride and groom’s ‘first dance’ could not have been more different to their western equivalent.  After ceremonially feeding each other with their first meal as a married couple they then joined the swaying choir for a boogie!  Kicking up quite a dust on the sandy ground, the bride and groom danced separately in their indomitable African rhythmic style.  The bride danced with the ladies of the choir, whilst the men gathered around in a circle and appeared to dance with their arms positioned as birds’ wings and stamped together as African cranes might perform in a sort of mating ritual!

We felt so privileged to have witnessed such a wonderful event, and though they must have been aware of our presence watching from our ‘balcony seats’ there were nothing but smiles and the bridal party were even happy to pose for our photos as the wedding came to a close in the heat of the mid afternoon.  Not only were we watching from above, but there was also a little crowd of local children, who had collected among the trees in ‘our garden’ and were joining in the dancing, holding a private party of their own!

No sooner had the wedding finished than the rest of our team returned from the conference. All had gone well with further teaching from Andy on refreshing our relationship with the Lord and more practical teaching on marriage and ministry from Alan and Eleanor. There was good interaction between pastors and opportunity for questions and comments which proved very useful. Alan and Andy managed to record interviews with the three pastors (and their wives) whose parishes are included in the SAP Programme and, from shared feedback, the conference was much appreciated.

After a quick drink and change of clothes, we headed off to negotiate with some local widows about the purchase of some of the baskets they make in their homes.  The ladies had laid out their handicrafts in the yard of Pastor Eugene’s home, so we took the opportunity to pop into see his lovely family of 6 children and his wife who was nursing her tiny new beautiful baby – another opportunity for the grannies, Heather and Eleanor to cuddle and coo over a cute bundle!

Please pray for: the healing of the Caesarean scar of Pastor Eugene’s wife; for the pastors and wives as they return to their parishes; for the sorting out of the baskets.

Give thanks for a good conference; for God's provision of our needs (food, hospitality, transport).